Free Cell Phones from the Government

My mother always complains when she sees the ne'er-do-wells in our neighborhood walking down the street smoking their cigs and chatting on their cell phones, usually en route to the Circle K to buy booze, sodas, or lottery tickets.

"They don't have the money for food, but they can certainly afford their cell phones and cigarettes!"

I always try to remind her that they might need that cell phone to look for a job and what not (and sort of ignore the cigarette/booze part. Hits too close to home.)

But now I have some good news! They are not wasting their money on that cell phone.

No, they are wasting the taxpayers!

SafeLink Wireless is a government supported program that provides a free cell phone and airtime each month for income-eligible customers.

Please, someone tell me this is a spoof.

There are already discounts for electricity and gas for "income-eligible" people. Now a free cell phone and minutes. If we get free healthcare going, and free food stamps too, pretty much all of life would then be covered. Hmmm, wait - the car. I need the "income-eligible" free vehicle with monthly gas allotment. I bet GM would okay with providing those. Then I campaign for free broad band (already a 'right' in Europe) and all I need is beer money.

Maybe I am just being crabby.